The **OFFICIAL** 2006 Chicago Cubs Thread

david sumner · Post by **david sumner** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 6:49 pm

As you can see from the calendar, the game is coming up this weekend. I'm sure you are as excited for it as I am, as our cities are rivals and have been for quite some time. Your confidence in your team is high, but rest assured, you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area.

On numerous occasions, you have expressed the conviction that your area's sports team will be victorious. I must admit that every time I hear you make this proclamation, I react with both laughter and disbelief. "Ha!" I say to myself with laughter. "What?!" I say to myself in disbelief. How could you believe that your sports team could beat my sports team? It is clear that yours is inferior in every way.

When the sporting contest begins, the players on your team will be treated as though they are inconsequential. It will be remarkably easy for my team to accumulate more points than yours. There are many reasons for this, starting with the inferior physical attributes of the players representing your area. Strength, speed, and agility are just three of the qualities that the players on the team from your area lack. The players representing my area, on the other hand, have these traits in abundance.

Underscoring your team's inferiority is its choice of colors. It is ludicrous to believe that your team's colors inspire either respect or fear. Instead, they appear to have been chosen by someone who is colorblind or, perhaps, bereft of sight altogether. The colors for my team, on the other hand, are aesthetically pleasing when placed in proximity to one another. They are a superior color combination in every way.

While we are on the subject of aesthetics, let us compare the respective facilities in which our teams play. While my team's edifice is blessed with architectural splendor and the most modern of amenities, yours is a thoroughly unpleasant place in which to watch a sporting contest. I know of what I speak, for I once attended a game between our respective teams in your facility. Let's just say the experience left me wishing that my car was inoperable that day due to mechanical problems, rendering it impossible for me to get to your area to attend the game.

If you need another reason why the sporting franchise representing my area is superior, look no further than the supporters for the two sides. Not only are the supporters of the team from my region more spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding than you and the rest of your ilk. In addition, the female supporters of the team from my area possess more attractive countenances and figures than yours. Some of the women from my side that I have observed could make a living by posing for pictures for major men's magazines. The women who cheer for your team, I'm afraid, are far too unattractive to do so.

One of the more pathetic aspects of the team from your area is the fact that only people in your immediate area possess an affinity for it. By means of contrast, the team from my area inspires loyalty and affection in individuals who live in many other geographic locations.

To illustrate this point, let me tell a brief story: Recently, I was on vacation in an area of the country far away from my own, and I saw many individuals wearing items of clothing that bore the insignia of my team. I approached one such individual and asked him if he originated from my area. He said no, explaining that he simply liked the team from my area and had for many years. Interestingly enough, during this trip, I saw no clothing or other paraphernalia bearing the insignia of your team.

Do you still doubt that the team from your area is inferior to the one from mine? Just look at our teams' respective histories. In the past, we have defeated you on any number of occasions. Granted, there were times when your team beat my team, but those were lucky flukes.

The day of the game will soon be at hand. And no matter how hard you pray to a higher power or how many foam accoutrements you wear in support of the team from your area, your team will be defeated. We will win and you will lose. This is your fate.

Prepare for humiliation. It shall be upon you at the designated hour.

7WetCigarettes · Post by **7WetCigarettes** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 12:26 am

wow, I am asolutely speechless.

7WetCigarettes · Post by **7WetCigarettes** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 1:29 am

the trade deadline is near....are their any predictions?

7WetCigarettes · Post by **7WetCigarettes** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 1:31 am

I was going to make a prediction, but then I remembered that this season has been so unbareably horrible that I know the Cubs will do nothing good before the deadline just to tick me off even more.

7WetCigarettes · Post by **7WetCigarettes** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 1:40 am

signs of the apocalypse:

Nomar Garciaparra .346 12 HR ALL-STAR
Gary Matthews Jr. .327 10 HR ALL-STAR
Corey Patterson .271 10 HR

The_Dude · Post by **The_Dude** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:30 pm

7WetCigarettes wrote:signs of the apocalypse:

Nomar Garciaparra .346 12 HR ALL-STAR
Gary Matthews Jr. .327 10 HR ALL-STAR
Corey Patterson .271 10 HR

Don't forget Patterson's 31 SB's.

Is it football season yet?

HillgrassBluebillyFTW · Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:42 pm

The_Dude wrote:Is it football season yet?

Why? So when the Colts choke again we can just say "Maybe next year"?

Oliver's Army · Post by **Oliver's Army** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:46 pm

Anderson wrote:
The_Dude wrote:Is it football season yet?
Why? So when the Colts choke again we can just say "Maybe next year"?

One verb...

Vanderjagt

As in "Dude, you TOTALY Vanderjagt'ed that kick..."You're fired."

The_Dude · Post by **The_Dude** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:54 pm

Anderson wrote:
The_Dude wrote:Is it football season yet?
Why? So when the Colts choke again we can just say "Maybe next year"?

The Colts are expected to make the playoffs. The Colts make the playoffs. The Colts choke.

HillgrassBluebillyFTW · Tue Jul 18, 2006 5:04 pm

The_Dude wrote:
Anderson wrote:
The_Dude wrote:Is it football season yet?
Why? So when the Colts choke again we can just say "Maybe next year"?
The Colts are expected to make the playoffs. The Colts make the playoffs. The Colts choke.

And every year we always say.....

The_Dude · Post by **The_Dude** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 5:33 pm

My point was...

They compete every year. The Cubs compete once per decade.

7WetCigarettes · Post by **7WetCigarettes** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 6:49 pm

The only years that matter in Cub's history:

2003 Heartbreaker - Bartman
1998 Wild Card - Sosa/McGuire HR Race
1989 Lost to Giants in LCS
1984 Heartbreaker - The Padres
1969 Heartbreaker - The "Miracle" Mets
1945 World Series - Lost to Tigers 4-3
1938 World Series - Lost to Yankees 4-0
1935 World Series - Lost to Tigers 4-2
1932 World Series - Lost to Yankees 4-0
1929 World Series - Lost to Philladelphia Athletics 4-1
1918 World Series - Lost to Red Sox 4-2
1910 World Series - Lost to Philladelphia Athletics 4-1
1908 CUBS WIN WORLD SERIES vs Tigers
1907 CUBS WIN WORLD SERIES vs Tigers
1906 World Series - Lost to White Sucks 4-2

7WetCigarettes · Post by **7WetCigarettes** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 8:26 pm

...in an interview on 670 The Score in Chicago, Trump said he'd be interested in purchasing the franchise.
Trump, appearing as a guest on the "Mike North Morning Show," was asked if he would want to own the team. His reply: "I would be interested, yeah. I think the Cubs are a great franchise, a storied franchise, an amazing franchise.

"It's sad to see what's happened to the Cubs, but management hasn't really done a good job over the years."

"I would certainly be interested in the Cubs," Trump said.

The Tribune Company is reportedly considering selling the struggling team.

GxWxLx · Post by **GxWxLx** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 9:03 pm

7WetCigarettes wrote:
...in an interview on 670 The Score in Chicago, Trump said he'd be interested in purchasing the franchise.
Trump, appearing as a guest on the "Mike North Morning Show," was asked if he would want to own the team. His reply: "I would be interested, yeah. I think the Cubs are a great franchise, a storied franchise, an amazing franchise.

"It's sad to see what's happened to the Cubs, but management hasn't really done a good job over the years."

"I would certainly be interested in the Cubs," Trump said.

The Tribune Company is reportedly considering selling the struggling team.

I can't deny it, this makes me excited ... but, I do HATE myself for it.

The_Dude · Post by **The_Dude** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 9:54 am

The Tribune has already said they have no plans to sell.

2 weeks ago the rumor circulated around Mark Cuban.

I don't see it happening.

FortWayneMusic.com

The OFFICIAL 2006 Chicago Cubs Thread