"Punk as F#@k"

Show off your creative writing talents. Post your lyrics, poems, and short stories here as well as give and receive constructive criticism. CAUTION! Adult language/content MAY happen. This is a CENSOR FREE ZONE!

Moderators: MrSpall, bassjones, sevesd93, zenmandan

Post Reply
Qeloton
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2003 8:52 pm
Location: Fort Wayne, IN
Contact:

"Punk as F#@k"

Post by Qeloton »

"Infuse the orginization with zeal to win faster."

That is stated in a list goals that I just read. I read them standing
at a urinal. Manhood in hand I reflected on how wonderful this statement was. You see..I had woke up everyday for the past 3 weeks with the words "I hate my job." on my lips. Not, oh humm maybe I'll have eggs this morning. Not..thank you god for letting me wake up again in this beautiful world. nope, "I hate my job." And I do hate it..I mean..I appreciate being able to eat..but I might trade not eating for a couple days for a my manager to have a stroke. Or maybe have her margirita fridays she always boasts about lead to an accident. Wait Wait Wait. I'm rising above. I dont want that. I'm punk...well as punk as a 23 year old saxophone playing dork can be. Yeah, saxophone. That's what I
had to tell the ladies when they asked me what I played after using
my..."I'm in a band line." You see I spent my college years drowning in delusions of grandure. Now there are no more delusions just an Infusion of Zeal to win faster!

I suppose its hard to realize the degree of irony that statement has
without walking a day in my shoes. Ok, so I've gotten up, done my complaining and I look at my watch. My day starts with a shower..there will be reference to this moment later. I get dressed. And walk out to my car. Yep, thats the one. The maroon 91' camry. Yes!. I get in and duck
under the disfunctioning automatic seatbelt and turn the key. A roar growls from underneath my the passangers seat and my car starts. I brag to my friends that its this loud rattle that sets the girls panties aflame. It's good to be able to make fun of yourself when you drive a camry. Today though the loud groan of my car doesnt trigger the swarm of ladies with lust in thier like in my jokes, but rather the car alarm of the SUV sitting next to me. This will be the most entertaining thing of my day. I smile in satisfaction...secretly justifying not getting my
muffler fixed as a gruella tactic to aid in the war in Iraq.

I arrive at work. The drizzle in the air speckles my sad attempt at
business casual with rain drops as I speed walk to the door praying that the eyes of "The end of the world" isnt watching. This would be referring to my manager. My badge beeps me in.

The two double doors open to a floor covered in a labyrinth of cubes.
I navigate my way to my desk and sit down. I stare into my powered off monitor. My reflection looks back at me as if to say..."leave..please..just go. please dont stay." I run a hand over my badly kept patchy attempt at a beard and mumble to myself "Your punk as f**k." 8 oclock time to start working. My job is simple, repititious, and well mindnumbing. But to the public I'm an "Affiliate Engineer" designing and creating innovations for the future! Truth of it is I'm a contracted worker to a company that is draining the life out of me. Key word there being contracted. This is the lowest level of the midevil class system that is instated here. Segregation is exploited every second of me being here.

Here is a direct quote from an email that states it perfectly after a middle aged contractor had asked if contractors could participate in "bring your daughter to workday":

Trish-
We should not include contractors in thie event-The contractors simply
do work for us, but do not recieve any benefits or participation in employee events, this included(I have this screen shotted and saved on my computer as "Could life get better.jpg")

Awesome.

The word employee is used loosely here. It is the term for respectable
people, considerate people who have something to offer society or atleast thats what I have come to conclude. Employees are distinguishable literally by thier different colored badges and the satisfied looks on thier faces. I'm assuming they get this look after by not being looked at in a condescending way on a daily basis.

I think for a minute to make that wonderful statement about the daughter day my backround before getting back to work but decide against it. I turn the scariest Dillenger Escape Plan-esk death metally hardcore punk music in my headphones as a subtle rebellion and procede to click away my day.

An un-measurable amount of goes by before a msg pops up on my screen. Its from Blake. He asks whatsup..and I attempt to make conversion.

Blake - So what are you doin for lunch?
Me - I dont know....maybe go home make a sandwhich.
Blake - It's Black History Month! Let's goto KFC to celebrate!
Me - Ok.
Blake - I think I'm gonna send my latest invention to the MLK family.
Me - O rly, what is it?
Blake - A watermelon flavored curb.

I literally laugh out loud and look over my right shoulder at the black conservitive female who sits in my quad. I feel like a real BA. I feel edgy and yeah..like I said...punk. What a joke. I feel like can actually relate to "African Americans" being a contractor. Segregation is a pile. Oh...my cubie/fellow segrationite is an "employee" though.
Ironic.

The day drags on hilited only by the following conversations:

Me - if I ever need a suggestive date movie..it will be 300...air
brushed doods..AND doggy style..garranteed poon.
Blake - mine is schinder's list


Blake - i saw the 7min footage of spidy3 it calls for alittle WIDDLEY-WIDDLEY-WHAN
(I assume there is an air guitar on the other end of this conversation)


Me - Hey did you catch To Catch A Predator last night?
Neil - No
Neil - i think somebody should show up dressed as the Predator from the movies....
Neil - GET TO THE CHOPPER!!!!!

The day ends. I feel like I really infused the zeal. I head home.

There you have it. Awesome huh? I finish my day on the phone with the beatiful girl that has promised to marry me. I tell her I thought about her during my "American Beauty" shower this morning. I get a snicker out of her and say goodnight. I set my alarm for another wonderful work day and goto bed.
"Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience." - Mitch Hedberg RIP
Post Reply