The 100 Acre Wood AKA America

[bludspyre]

Yes, that's right.........the Hundred Acre-Wood from Winnie the Pooh is a deliberate bitchslap to America. It's a complete comparison to today's society. Have we been so blind to the lies that the friggin' fat bear says, each time he says "Pooh" he's just saying sh*t, literally.

Here's what the truth

::Pooh::
The gluttony of America right in front of our own eyes. He also is the ignorant percentage of the population. Honey is his heroin, his vice, his EVIL clutch on his soul. Don't be fooled by his fascade. He represents the fat man, the dumb ass, and to some extent THE CRACKHEAD.
Example: Remember when he forced his way into Rabbit's home. That's BREAKING AND ENTERING. He ate all the friggin' honey, and he still craved more. It's so plain and simple to see.
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE



::Piglet::
He is the other half of America. Driven by obsession, or so to say OCD. He always cleans everything. He freaks out everytime something is out of order. NOT HEALTHY.....NOT HEALTHY AT ALL. That's some sick pig, and he needs his meds. He is also the one who needs psychiatric help because that little freak fears everything. If he saw his own shlong, he'd piss his pants. Yes, many meds for this humble man. Though riddled with mental disorders he seems to have a much more sense of himself than his best friend, Pooh. So we can safely say that Piglet can find a nice padded room without any worries of his self, and I've heard that they keep padded rooms very nice and clean.



::Rabbit::
Rabbit is the most succesful of the group, but yet he has his own flaws. GREED. Yes, that's right. The grumpy bunny is really a representative of the conglomerate business man obessessed with making cabbage AKA money, and keeping it for himself. He also does carrots......which in Rabbit language is GOLD BRICKS. He is a merciless tyrant, who doesn't even allow door-to-door people, even his neighbors.

Example:: When Pooh 'visited' (breaking and entering) for some honey, and then proceeded to rob and got his fat ass stuck in the door, such as many of Americans tend to do. He only wanted a small drop. Rabbit denied him that pleasure, and Pooh then changed his answer to "'I wasn't going to eat it, I just wanted to taste it" then Rabbit proceeded to rub it in Pooh's face by saying he would taste it for him. Yes, Rabbit is a cruel and unusual bastard.




::Tigger::
He is the WHOLE psychiatric ward of A Hundred Acre Wood. He is Mr. Rubberbottom. He is the friendly, sociopath. Remember Tiggers loves any stupid thing, just to manipulate the situation to their advantage. But when Tiggers dislike something, they suddenly change their minds. And don't forget, Tigger pretty much broke into Pooh's home, and assaulted him. The needle with the happy sleeping potion should be introduced to Tigger. But we live in a much more peaceful nation, HA! Just dope the freak up on Ridalin. He'll settle down, but most likely he'll OD because Tiggers like everything, and he'll want as much as he can get. He'll make Pooh's honey addiction seem nonexistent.



::Roo::
Speaking of Ridalin, this bugger needs all he can get. He hops around uncontrollably. Hangs around the psych ward reject, Tigger, and cause chaos to the whole damn forest. Which also proves a bad breakup from a marriage can cause all sorts of issues for the children. Overall, just beat the crap outta the kid. His father may not be dead, in fact his mommy probably got knocked up during an alcoholic binge on one night stand. Yes, we all pity the outcome for Roo. We'll get to the alco-mother in a bit.


::Kanga::
Where the hell is this woman during Roo's antics?!?!?!?!?! Our sources tell us that she is a complete alcoholic. It's understandalbe, but she represents the unfortunate factor of ALL single parents. She just takes it a step up with the constant drinking. She's not so involved with the other rejects, because we THINK she might be carrying two jobs along with being passed out on her free time. Waitress by day (the apron gives it away), hooker by night. Have you seen her house, it's too nice for her, so she's probably dolled up at night looking for desperate animals in the Red Leaf District of the Wood. Yes, though her many flaws are apparent I respect her more than any other character in the Hundred Acre Woods.


::Eeyore::
There's not much to explain. He is the pessimist in EVERYONE, but he has a terrible case of chronic depression. Though, he's always mellow when he assumes the worst, so we can accept the fact that Eeyore does, indeed, smoke marijuana. He loses his tail constantly and can never find a decent home, this is probably the effects of pot. His money that he makes goes straight to pot. He is so stoned that when his tail falls off, he doesn't even give two sh*ts about it. As long as there's a freshly packed bowl by his side and the world against him, he is truly at one with himself. Even if that is all caused by hallucinations.


::Owl::
Can I say politician????? Yes, he is one and only political party of the Wood. Sadly, that party is made up of one, himself. He is always on a soapbox talking down to the other forest animals, literally. He is probably an Ivy League grad, and his life has been littered with experiances that don't really have any usefullness in life's problems, which he always seems to come off with a random story about some uncle, pushing himself into everyone's problems. But in the end, the problem is never solved by him, so he would have my vote. He is the ideal politician.


::Gopher::
Gopher is the average, paycheck-to-paycheck working man. He gets walked upon by EVERYONE. And once he finally reaches the light, he plummets back down to the underground where no one will ever help him. He is his own man, and he rarely ever asks for assistance. So GOPHER, we salute you.



and last, but certainly not least

::CHRISTOPHER ROBIN::
We are so sorry to inform you that Mr. Robin, is mentally unstable. Due to hallucinogenics and other medicines. He could never truly talk to these critters. Sadly, they actually are STUFFED ANIMALS. Which shows the delusions of a young man hopped up on acid/LSD. We pity this poor soul, and pray you never turn out like this young chap. Maybe he might get his life straight, but as long as he keeps dropping and popping he will probably be that old man without teeth pushing the cart with three wheels reeking of alcohol and telling you about his wonderful friends in the Hundred Acre Wood AKA Central Park in New York City.

Thank you for reading this, and please warn America. Send this to everyone you know, so we can get the true message of Winnie The Pooh.


From StG and XXX

[adam atherton]

did you copy this from myspace?


i sure hope so.....

[sevesd93]

[bassjones]

Clift Notes = America Sucks, Whinnie the Pooh proves it.

[WBOB]

Time to banish these characters in the 100 acre wood
to the depths of Bikini Bottom.

[sevesd93]

Clift Notes = America Sucks, Whinnie the Pooh proves it.

Thanks, I didn't feel like reading all that bullsh*t just to find out some more bullsh*t.

[G Fresh]

[bludspyre]

Clift Notes = America Sucks, Whinnie the Pooh proves it.

Thanks, I didn't feel like reading all that bullsh*t just to find out some more bullsh*t.

well, i'm sorry that you felt obligated to read it. You should learn to say no to yourself when reading something that is apparently utter bullsh*t.


and to the other question: I and my friend wrote this and did post it on myspace. So it was copied from myspace, but it was also written by myself

[sevesd93]

Clift Notes = America Sucks, Whinnie the Pooh proves it.

Thanks, I didn't feel like reading all that bullsh*t just to find out some more bullsh*t.

well, i'm sorry that you felt obligated to read it. You should learn to say no to yourself when reading something that is apparently utter bullsh*t.


and to the other question: I and my friend wrote this and did post it on myspace. So it was copied from myspace, but it was also written by myself

No need to apologize, and when I decide to learn something, it wont be from you.

[Garr]

and to the other question: I and my friend wrote this and did post it on myspace. So it was copied from myspace, but it was also written by myself

Granted the numerous spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors contained within, I would not advertise this fact.

[sevesd93]

and to the other question: I and my friend wrote this and did post it on myspace. So it was copied from myspace, but it was also written by myself

Granted the numerous spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors contained within, I would not advertise this fact.

Exactly my point.

[bludspyre]

The grammatical errors, okay, I'll take that but sevesd, you can **** yourself with a chainsaw sideways. There really hasn't been anything useful outta your mouth anyway. So to each his own.

[sevesd93]

The grammatical errors, okay, I'll take that but sevesd, you can **** yourself with a chainsaw sideways. There really hasn't been anything useful outta your mouth anyway. So to each his own.

Sorry my mouth isn't as useful as yours. I am sure the guys down at Sweeney Park say tremendous things about you.

[Garr]

Ugh.

Back on topic. It's an interesting take on American Capitalism, that's for sure. Is it an empirical look? Not really. Is it backed with corroborating opinions or professional analysis? Again, no. A rant like this (for that's all it really is: a rant) would be better served by providing some true sources or support rather than thrown-together, opinionated ramblings.

I get the idea. I'm intrigued by the idea. I have to say, though, that this cartoon/franchise was initially created in the 1920's by an English poet for his children. I hardly suspect that he intended it as a political view about the new millennium United States of America. Whatever you think about Disney (i.e. rumors of Communism), they didn't create the thing, they just bought it and milked every damned capitalist dollar out of that they can.

Again, you provide interesting theories, but they really have no substantive qualities that I can detect.