Why did it cross?

[MrSpall]

I found it amusing -

Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road ?

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side, or in enemy territory. The chicken is either against us (axis of evil), or for us. There is no middle ground here; we will find him.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions I am for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his little beady eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
That chicken crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American!

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs. Why it crossed it I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out his abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, wewill be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&;;^( C \ .... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or didthe road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I... did... not... cross... the... road... with... THAT... chicken. In fact what is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Darn, I missed one!

[=^-..-^=]

PARIS HILTON
Chicken crossing – That's Hawt!

DR. CRAWFORD
There are dangers inherent in chickens crossing roads, and we must prevent ourselves from future litigation. Therefore we are passing a citywide chicken ban in the interest of crossing chickens and the drivers who might be hurt in accidents avoiding them.

FW CITY COUNCIL
The chicken was heading to Wizards Baseball - downtown!

YELLOW PETITION COMMITTEE
The chicken did not receive proper education in how to cross the road because it went to a skool with crumbling infrastructure.

KURT VONNEGUT
The chicken was always afraid to venture out on the road because of traffic. The chicken became only the 3rd known fan of science fiction writer Kilgore Trout, who wrote a story, called Kentucky Fried Universe, about a race of galaxy exploring chickens. Inspired, it ventured across the road in a daring move. Driving down the road at the very same time was Bobby Pilgrim, the grandson of Billy Pilgrim, who received a Nobel Prize in medicine for curing many chicken ailments, thus saving thousands of lives around the world of people dependent on poultry as a staple of their dies. The Chicken Dance came on the car radio, and Bobby turned his eyes from the road momentarily to turn the radio up, just as the chicken was crossing.

And so it goes.

AYN RAND
The chicken took a heroic step in using its creative mind to blaze a path across the road into territories yet unexplored by other chickens too afraid to take this bold step. Though chickens worldwide benefitted greatly from the actions of this heroic chicken, most chickens condemned it as a blatant act of selfishness, saying the chicken should have carried the other chickens who would not make the journey on its back as it went.

ALICE WALKER
The chicken crossed the road. All men are pigs.