Garr's Grammatical Rants

[adam atherton]

dear retard that i work with:

'irregardless' is not a word. you slowly suffocate my will to exist each time you use this non-word.

thanks,
A

[MrSpall]

yah, everybody know's its unregardless.. geez

[Garr]

yeah, irregardless. don't get me started. because of idiots who don't know what they're saying, this word has actually been added to the dictionary. it pisses me off to no end.

it goes against one of the most basic rules of English grammar: the double negative.

irregardless literally means without a lack of regard. . .well guess what? something that does not have a lack of regard. . .HAS REGARD YOU DOLT!?!?!?!?

btw, my horrid punctuation, spelling, and sentence structure in this post is INTENTIONAL.

[sharkmansix]

I'm just glad we're all perfect and never make mistakes.

[WBOB]

I've never done nothin wrong!

[Oliver's Army]

Here's a Hoosierism I hear all the time...

"Whole nother" and "thing"

"We are out of Mustard"
"There's a whole nother thing of mustard in the fridge"

WTF?

I heard a Doctor interviewed on CNN and he used 'whole nother'.

(There's a confidence builder.)

"Doc your patient is dead."
"That's cool. I have a whole nother one in the next room."

[Garr]

I'm just glad we're all perfect and never make mistakes.

There is a HUGE difference between a mistake and ignorance, sm6. . .HUGE. I can understand the occasional mistake. . .but that's not what I'm addressing here. It's the dumb asses who have no clue that send me through the roof.

[Garr]

I think that's a Union Hillbilly-ism, Ollie.

[WaitUntilTomorrow]

Here's a Hoosierism I hear all the time...

"Whole nother" and "thing"

"We are out of Mustard"
"There's a whole nother thing of mustard in the fridge"

WTF?

I heard a Doctor interviewed on CNN and he used 'whole nother'.

(There's a confidence builder.)

"Doc your patient is dead."
"That's cool. I have a whole nother one in the next room."

HAHAHAHAHA

Dealing with the medical field on a continual basis for the past three years has shown me that you don't, in fact, have to be intelligent to get a medical degree. And now a scene from "When Emily Found Out She Had A Dysfunctional Bladder Lining", by Emily, aka "Why Emily Sometimes Hates The World." This play IS a true story, word for word.


Scene: Urologist's Office
Emily: So you're saying I have a dysfunctional bladder lining...what exactly does that mean?
Doctor: Well....so to speak, it means that your bladder can't handle anything with an acidic base. No coffee, no tomato, no soda, no beer or wine...and a whole bunch of other stuff.
Emily: So....pretty much I have bladder allergies.
Doctor: Sort of. Not really.
Emily: So I can't have that stuff at all?
Doctor: No. It will cause extreme pain.
Emily: Oh...so can I have a list of all the 'bad things', so I can avoid them?
Doctor: Well...there's not really a list.
Emily:....Oh.
Doctor: If you want, I could write them down for you.
Emily:..............................Sure. That would be great.
Doctor: (gets out pen and paper, titles page: Emily *insert last name here*, diagnosis: )
Wait...what was it you had again?
Emily: You didn't tell me yet.
Doctor: (chuckles) OH, yes. Well. It's called....(picks up chart and flips through it)...it's called....Well. It seems I never wrote down what you have here. Let me go ask the nurse.
Emily: Oh my God.

[Jeff]

..

[WBOB]

Here's one that makes my eyes bleed!

Do you see what I'm saying?

[WaitUntilTomorrow]

The best Ghostbusters line: "Listen. Do you smell something?"