Dear ________:

HillgrassBluebillyFTW · Mon Nov 05, 2007 2:15 pm

Dear Anyone With Voicemail,

Please for the love of God or whatever diety you believe in make your voice mail worth listening to. If you have no personality let someone who does record your voice mail.

Signed,
A3K
A Disgruntled Collections Agent

bassjones · Post by **bassjones** » Mon Nov 05, 2007 6:05 pm

Dear !&&^$^&#

&*(&)(&)&)*(&^&^*% YOU &&**&((*&*(&*( IDIOT!!! I *(&)*(&()&)*(^&%^&%&*+^%$ HATE YOU!

HillgrassBluebillyFTW · Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:34 am

Dear Dooshe Bag Mother jerk that I held the door for this morning.

Are the words "Thank You" or "Thanks" not in your vocabulary? Did your toothless crackwhore of a mother not teach you any manners while you were humping your sister?

f**k you very much,
a very irritated Ando

Oliver's Army · Post by **Oliver's Army** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:38 am

...news weatherpeople.

Thank you for "Chicken Little-ing" the EFF outta our little snowfall.

The_Dude · Post by **The_Dude** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:41 am

Oliver's Army wrote:...news weatherpeople.

Thank you for "Chicken Little-ing" the EFF outta our little snowfall.

Amen to that.

bassjones · Post by **bassjones** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 11:31 am

...local school districts. NUT UP!

sevesd93 · Post by **sevesd93** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 12:18 pm

Dear Salvation Army Bell Ringer,

I do not appreciate being harassed when I walk by you. Yes, I did just buy a hundred dollars worth of groceries, but no, I didn't spend cash. If I have something to give to you I will, I don't need you mouthing of to me trying to make me feel guilty.

f**k YOU!!

Oliver's Army · Post by **Oliver's Army** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 10:27 am

....News Weather Shils.

I understand you get a woody playing with your Doppler Viper 2000 whatever.

BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

Your constant crawls... and too far in advance weather bugs... and cut ins every 15 minutes...all to tell us its still snowing...

It has worked against you. I will not get my reports from you Mr Weather man with your mild hysteria and color 3-D maps.

I now find myself going online or dialing up one of the three weather channels available to me to find out the forecast.

I then switch to some cable channel to watch ANYTHING that is not polluted with redundant, self congratulatory forecasting, and worst... the chicken little tone of the faux emergency.

Do you not know that you have become the joke of the television watching majority?

Do you want viewers? Respect? Ratings?

Then scale this all waaaaay back and let us watch in peace.

We get it...we REALLY do...We know its snowing....We know its going to pile up...We know its slippery....we know to stay home...WE forking KNOW ALREADY

This isnt 1950 where there are no options to find out breaking news.

Tout yourself as the station that *does not* force your pointless crisis reporting upon us like an overprotective mother.

I will watch you.... and praise your common sense.

Al Quandt · Post by **Al Quandt** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 10:39 am

Dear butthead picking up your friend/spouse/ whatever from the House Arrest building downtown last night...

First off. When making a right turn into a parking lot please do it from the lane that is closest to the entrance of the parking lot. Do not attempt to turn and merge across two lanes in the same action.

However if you feel that you need to do this please for the love of god look to make sure that this highly illegal and ignorant move is not going to force the person harmlessly driving in the lane you are cutting off to wreck in to you.

Granted I am a much more skilled and attentive driver so you are lucky that I did not t-bone you. I instead, once noticing that I was sliding, to force myself into the snow bank.

That is still forgivable, people make mistakes, I understand that. But holy sh*t! Do not proceed to pull into the parking lot and park 15 feet in front of me and watch me struggle my ass off to get my car unstuck from the mess you put me in. While I am at the same time completely disrupting traffic. Thus making it look like I am the butthead and opening me up to getting pulled over because there was not logical reason for me to be in the situation I was in.

Thanks a lot butthead.

When the weather sucks and roads are slick, please have the common sense to take a little more precaution when driving and considering completely retarded driving risks.

The_Dude · Post by **The_Dude** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:08 am

Dear Al,

Sorry about that. I was in a hurry.

- Fleek

The_Dude · Post by **The_Dude** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:09 am

Dear Poopdeflex,

You look marvelous in a dress.

XOXO,

Fleek

deek · Post by **deek** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:16 am

Dear Old Women that stop for 7.5 seconds before the first step on the escalator,

The damn thing is not moving fast. You have hand rails and the escalator starts out flat for about three step sections. You are not crippled and I have a hard time believing your natural reflexes will not correct you if you are too far on the edge of the step...

I see people almost run into you every time you do this, which is much more dangerous than you pausing all the time...please, just step on the damn escalator and let nature take its course!

deek · Post by **deek** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:22 am

Dear Idiot that only traveled one floor on the elevator,

Seriously! I know our building has eight floors and you may be too tired to go down one flight of steps, but we do also have a frickin' escalator here too. I got on the elevator on the 6th floor, going down to the basement and when you stepped on at 4 and pushed the 3rd floor, I almost punched you through the back of the head. The only thing that saved you were the other two women that got on the 5th floor and getting off on the 1st...gabbing and giggling...and realizing that I couldn't punch through all your heads in one swift punch...

Please, I know it may take a lot out of you, but those cottage cheese thighs and beer gut could probably use a little travel on a flight of steps from time to time...next time I see you stepping onto the elevator I am going to ask what floor and if you are not traveling to at least three floors away, I'm gonna give you a kick to the face and ask you to have a nice day!

Al Quandt · Post by **Al Quandt** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:36 am

The_Dude wrote:Dear Poopdeflex,

You look marvelous in a dress.

XOXO,

Fleek

Deer Pleasing Melani...

I completly forgot about our photoshoot yesterday, gay.

adam atherton · Post by **adam atherton** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 12:49 am

deek.

i've met your wife.

you have better things to do than post riddles.

-atherton