crossroads (unfinished)

HillgrassBluebillyFTW · Fri Oct 07, 2005 9:10 am

Well, I went down to the crossroads
and met the devil himself there
he fed me some pills, and a line of lies
and said you’ll disappoint those who care

I met my lover at the crossroads,
to hear what she had to say,
said she’d met someone new
and now she was going away.

my mother was at the crossroads,
and I seen that look on her face.
she was disapointed and I wanted to die,
and never come back to this place.

I met myself at the crossroads,
just to see what I would find
I didn’t recognize the face
even though it was mine.

I met the old man at the crossroads,
and couldn't bear to call him dad,
for he never truly loved us,
and treated mama bad.

shark1966 · Post by **shark1966** » Wed Dec 07, 2005 3:04 pm

Um, way too overused image bro. The crossroads is as overdone as the image of trains in a song, the devil, seeing the light, etc. You got to reach for somethng a little more pesonal, a little fresher.

You can do it Jimmy.

Massage...Bored · Post by **Massage...Bored** » Wed Dec 07, 2005 3:41 pm

I went down to the crossroads and had a duel for my soul with a unibrowed Steve Vai. It was intense! My story was made into a big time hollywood movie starring myself.

doubleshot · Post by **doubleshot** » Wed Dec 07, 2005 8:10 pm

That's great Message-Bored. Really. That's neat.

I learned karate and beat up some local thugs from Kobra Kai back in the day. They made a movie out of my life as well. Check it out if you get the chance.

ChemicalEmily · Post by **ChemicalEmily** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 8:54 pm

Cliches are ok as long as it's written well. I dig it.

SANTANA BLUES · Post by **SANTANA BLUES** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 3:24 pm

I like it

Give me more... Maybe more lyrical and or detailed words to make this message "poem" play like a movie in the back of my head when I read it...

-Santana Blues

HillgrassBluebillyFTW · Tue Feb 14, 2006 5:35 pm

added the last verse.